Less than 2 weeks left...

Our advisor just sent us all a message about how we might feel returning to the US, or how I'm used to saying it, "America" (then small children repeat, A-meriiiii-ca!). I thought I would share it because I know it won't be easy for me to return, as silly as that sounds. I can't wait to hug my friends and family yet at the same time I know I've adjusted to the way of life here... It's been home for the last 4 months. My head has already started spinning with the thoughts of what I'm going to miss and things I'm excited to get away from, however I find these things intertwining... after all, you can find good in anything.


[Aphrodite's Rock, Goddess of Love. South Cyprus]


I. You, The Experienced Sojourner
II. Ask Yourself These Questions
III. Coping with Re-entry
IV. Suggestions for Significant Others

I. You, The Experienced Sojourner

Sojourner: a person who travels and stays at a place temporarily

- You have matured more than you realize as a result of adapting to another culture; participating in another social structure; observing foreign systems of government; adjusting to a different educational system; practicing foreign languages, slang, greetings, and interactions; and appreciating other peoples and other places.

- You now have a better perception of what culture is: values, behaviors, customs, food, and language learned and esteemed within a specific group of people.

- Acknowledging cultural differences is extremely important, and you may feel impatient or angry with people who do not respect cultural differences.

- You have increased your global perspective of our interdependent world: economics, social issues, politics, education, and environmental issues.

- You have practiced more independence, initiative, and responsibility while being immersed in another culture.

- You have had opportunity to view the United States from another perspective.

- You have practiced a great deal of flexibility and intense adjustment skills.

- You have been stretched to build relationships (hopefully positive) outside your comfort zone.

- Hopefully, you have gained an empathy for Internationals in the U.S.

- You will be less afraid of diversity (social, religious, ethnic, racial).

- You may have experienced being a minority for the first time while abroad.

- You are more familiar with the complexities and the inter-relatedness of the modern world. You have been exposed to the fundamental similarities in humankind.


II. Ask Yourself These Questions:

1. In what ways have my values, opinions, goals, and lifestyle changed since I left "home"? Have people at "home" changed as much as I have? How will these changes affect my responses?

2. Do I expect people at "home" to hold similar viewpoints and opinions as I do now?

3. Should I expect friends and family to understand what I have seen and done during my time abroad? Will they relate to the "life changing" experiences that are so profound to me (without having experienced the same type of changes themselves)?

4. How will I respond to others? Will others' indifference or lack of understanding lead me to withdraw, or feel bitter or hurt, or will I start feeling superior because of my experience abroad?

5. What changes in styles, morals, music, cost of living, current events, and relationships will affect me?

6. Will I be recognized, accepted, and welcomed in my former residence, social hang-outs, and work?

7. What do I have to contribute to others because of my experience abroad?

8. Who and what will be my resources for support, encouragement, and understanding?

III. Coping With Re-Entry

Re-entry: entering original culture after being in a foreign culture

“Re-entry has sometimes been called "reverse culture shock". While culture shock is associated with a sense of disorientation brought on by a new and unfamiliar environment, re-entry is the inevitable adjustment period when returning to your "home" setting. You presume that once you get “home” everything will be familiar again -- but in reality it may no longer be the same.

It is the unexpected subtlety of such changes that will cause stress for you returning from abroad. Your once familiar and comfortable environment may not feel the same. Something has definitely changed. Yet, you may not quickly recognize just what it is that is different.

Suddenly you find yourself out-of-sync with "your own culture." A very common reaction to this subtle disorientation may come in the form of confusion, anxiety, disillusionment, depression, and perhaps even irritation or anger. You may hear yourself saying "things are just not the way they used to be...", "nobody seems to care...", "nobody really understands."

Take notice of these valuable suggestions posed by Cynthia Hockman in her booklet, Returning Home.

- Expect things to be different.

- Continue keeping a journal (include feelings that you are experiencing).

- Cook a typical meal from your host country.

- Remember how hard it was to enter a new culture, and use that sensitivity to assist internationals in your community.

- Talk with others who have been to your host country.

- Recognize and get to know people in your community who are from your host country.

- Consider taking classes related to your international experience, such as: cultural anthropology, cross-cultural communications, international development, cultural sociology, international health, international business, etc.

- Read international press.

- Join, or form a discussion group.

- Talk with someone you can feel vulnerable and honest with, someone with successful experience abroad, to help sort out your feelings.

- Remember... that re-entry shock fades, but your new perspective of the world will last a lifetime!

IV. Suggestions for Significant Others

Here are a few suggestions adapted from Craig Sorti's The Art of Coming Home. You might want to copy this and give it to people.

1. Show interest. Returnees very much need to share their experiences with you. It may feel like they are overdoing it: too many pictures, slides, stories... but, try to be patient. They need to feel validation from others that what they experienced was valuable.

2. Don't expect them to be the same. They will have undoubtedly changed in unexpected ways because of their experience abroad. Talk to them about the changes you see and the changes they feel, and find ways to support those changes.

3. Don't be offended when they criticize their home country and constantly compare it unfavorably with their host country overseas. They don’t mean to judge you in their sweeping generalizations. This is a phase they are going through.

4. Don't make them feel defensive. Sometimes we don’t really understand how hard re-entry can be. We think they shouldn't have any problems now that they are home. Try to understand the transition process and allow them time to adapt.

5. Don't pressure them to visit all the time. Give them enough space until they want to visit with others in their own time.

6. Don't spring problems and responsibilities on them too soon. Give them time to readjust and get their balance.

7. Above all, be patient and aware! They are going through a transition process. Emotional struggles are to be expected during this time. They will not be like this forever. If you are still concerned about them after a few months, talk to them gently about getting some help from someone who understands cross-cultural re-entry.